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 Fear - Chapter 1

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Was it well written?
 Yeah, definitely
 Sort of okay
 Amatuerish
 Awfully written
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Sean the man
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PostSubject: Fear - Chapter 1   Thu May 07, 2009 5:31 pm

The darkness surrounded him. He couldn't see more then three feet ahead of him. A wind blew through the trees around him, sending shivers down his spine as he heard the dark pine trees hissing like some sort of monster about to attack him. What am I doing here? he wondered, feeling fear claw at his insides. Of course, he knew deep down why he was there. The leader had insisted that they meet after dark, in a dark forest, miles from his home. Come on, Samuel, calm down. What's the worst that could happen? And with that foolish (misplaced?) thought, all his pent-up fear broke through his demeanor.
For some stupid reason, Samuel started running through the pitch black forest, as though he was running away from something. From what, though, he had no idea.
Branches whipped into his face, stinging the already freezing cold skin. Twice he nearly tripped over exposed roots, but somehow managed to right himself both times. His mind raced, hundreds of different thought screaming to be heard. All he wanted now was to be free of the forest. He would decide what to do next as soon as he got out. He knew the forest wasn't too big, and that he would be out of it within the next minute. The leader would be furious to discover that he had ran away from their meeting, but there was no way he was going to stay where he was, feeling completely terrified.
Samuel couldn't beleive he had got caught up in this madness. All because he was a bored teenager. Well he wasn't bored anymore.
He ran faster, squinting to make out the outlines of the tree trunks. He splashed through a stream, stumbling and soaking his runners.
Finally the forest ended, and Samuel was running one of the many wheat fields that domainated the land by his parent's house.
Finally, he stopped. Panting for breath, he looked around. The wind blowing through the wheat sounded like surf breaking on a sandy beach, except it was constant.
His eyes seemed to have adjusted more, now he could make out the sky from the ground.
His heart began to slow down.
Slowly, he started towards where he guessed the main road was. As he drew closer, he discovered he was right, as he saw headlights in the distance to his right.
As he drew closer to the road, he felt the ground beneath get softer, until he was paddling in cold, muddy water. Thorns scratched his face as he climbed over the hedge. Samuel waited until the car had passed before jumping onto the asphalt.
He sighed and began walking towards his house, all the time aware that he had just made a big mistake.

1

The house looked quite ominous as he walk up the lawn towards it. Only one or two of the lights in the house were on.
Samuel opened the door without knocking and sighed with relief as he slipped off his boots and then his socks.
The smooth hard wood was cold beneath his damp feet as he walked across the hallway to the double doors of the living room.
He opened the left one and stumbled inside, crashing onto the couch.
'Hey mom,' he said. His mother was sitting in the chair, some soap opera blaring out of the t.v in front of her. It was a few seconds before he realised she was fast asleep. Samuel walked over to the t.v and turned it down a bit. The light in the living room was dimmed and the curtains were pulled. Sam bent to pick up his mother's wine glass, and drank the rest. He smiled.
He quickly put the glass in the sink and went to his room, careful not to make too much noise. If his mother woke up and heard him, she'd accuse him of sneaking out or something. She was paranoid that way.
He didn't bother turning on the light, his eyes already adjusted to the dark. He pressed the light button on his alarm clock and groaned. 22:46. He had to get up at seven the next morning to catch his school bus. He took off his clothes and slipped into bed.
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AllenP
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Mon May 11, 2009 12:37 pm

thats a great story sean
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Sean the man
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Mon May 11, 2009 2:39 pm

Thanks Allen! I haven't a clue where it's going from here though... scratch
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Urmudda0007
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Tue May 12, 2009 12:42 pm

I reckon this is your favourite writing style, am I right? Good stuff!!
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The Drunken Hobo 365
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Tue May 12, 2009 12:43 pm

Its pretty good.
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Sean the man
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Fri May 15, 2009 10:58 am

Thanks lads, yeah this is my usual writing style.. it's not exactly fantasy though.. I don't think..
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Fri May 15, 2009 11:00 am

It could be if in the next chapter a four armed alien with no faced jumped out and tried to strangle him.
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Fri May 15, 2009 11:04 am

That's more sci fi. If however the alien was like a troll or something and had a sword, we'd have ourselves a fantasy.
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Fri May 15, 2009 11:05 am

Fina it has a face its the face of a troll and each arm has a sword, Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Fri May 15, 2009 11:08 am

Thanks for the advice lads, coz I really don't know where I'm taking this!
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Fri May 15, 2009 11:09 am

It wasnt really advice but if its helpful your welcome to it.
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Mon May 18, 2009 8:41 am

Thanks! I'll might use it..
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Urmudda0007
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PostSubject: Re: Fear - Chapter 1   Sun May 24, 2009 8:36 pm

No!!!! Me and John should write our own book and the main villain is going to be a four armed troll-faced troll with a science-fictional (I don't know what that means either) sword. ITS OUR IDEA!!

Seriously though if you want it have it because I don't. We weren't really being 100% serious.
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Fear - Chapter 1

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